“You are already good enough and loved as you are.”

If you are a child of Asian immigrants or Asian immigrant yourself, you may have grown up in a culture that your exceptional academic and professional “success” are highly expected and strongly tied to your own self-worth. As a result, many of us developed this persistent feeling of being “never good enough” despite our hard work and various accomplishments in our life. You may not remember if or how often your were told that you were told that you were loved as you were without having to accomplish any measurable achievements as a child growing up. If that’s how you grew up, you may have felt so alone with your emotional pain that nobody really understood and accepted who you truly were. As an adult, you know you are a high-achiever but you still feel empty inside and realize that the dream and life that you want to achieve in your life is different from what your family wants for you. But now you notice it is hard for you to prioritize your own needs, wants, and dreams because you also internalized their definition of successful life, and it is difficult to separate your own values and other people’s values and expectations of you. So now you feel guilty to prioritize your own feelings over someone else’s expectations of you or to maintain a healthy boundary with people.

You also see your life as either a success or failure and you never feel good enough even if you have achieved so much. It is emotionally difficult for you to pursue what you feel passionate about since you are afraid that it would not meet your family’s expectations. You struggle to validate your own self-worth internally without measurable accomplishments, so you keep seeking approvals and validations externally.

This never ending cycle is very exhausting and painful. You would like to stop it but do not know how, because your critical voice constantly tells you you need to work harder to be loved and you feel anxious when you try to choose your own compassionate voice towards yourself. 

It is not your voice that is telling you to work harder and more. It is someone else’s voice that you had to internalize growing up to feel loved and accepted. But you do not have to listen to the voice any more because it is not making you happy. We would like to find your own compassionate voice that exists in you, and we listen to and nurture the voice so that the voice can thrive and navigate you to live a life as you like without needing to get approvals for your achievements. Your worth is not your achievements or so-called success, but who you are with yourself, your family, partner, and friends.

Together, we can learn how you can nurture self-compassionate inner-voice, prioritize yourself, set healthy boundaries, and live a life truly authentic to you. You are not alone and you deserve support. I will guide you there gently to explore the deeper root cause of your anxiety, guilt and shame, so that you can experience healing that you have been waiting and longing for a long time finally. If you are ready to endeavor your healing journey, I invite you to schedule a free consultation with me today. 

*I can offer therapy sessions both in Japanese and English.